Good Girl Complex Part 5 (The Woman At The Well)

She shows up at the well when no one else would be there, carrying more than a water jar, carrying shame, isolation, and a story she would rather keep quiet. Then Jesus does the unthinkable: he goes straight through Samaria, sits down, and starts a conversation with the very person the culture would have overlooked. John 4 is not just a famous Bible passage; it is a spotlight on the heart of God and a mirror for anyone trapped in the good girl complex. 

We talk through the Samaritan woman’s encounter with Jesus, the tension between Jews and Samaritans, and why it mattered that a Jewish rabbi spoke to a woman alone in public. We also wrestle with the assumptions people make about her past and ask a harder question: what if she wasn’t the problem, but the one everyone blamed? We trace how Jesus names what is true without shaming, and how being fully known becomes the beginning of real healing. 

If you have ever felt like you have to look perfect to be accepted, or you have hidden parts of your story because Christians can be judgmental, this conversation is for you. We keep coming back to one simple invitation: you do not have to clean up first. Put the bucket down, lift your eyes, and let Jesus meet you right where you are. 

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Transcript

Welcome To The Table Of Grace

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to the Table of Grace podcast, where every woman has a seat, every story matters, and Jesus is always at the center. We're here to create space for real conversations and faith-filled stories that help you grow in your walk with Jesus. So grab your favorite cup of coffee and pull up a chair, because at his table, there's always a seat for you.

Table Talk And Gratitude

Tessah 0:29

Hey guys, welcome back to the Table of Grace podcast. I'm here, Tessa Lovekey with my co-host, Courtney Newberry. Hello. And we are, I'm really so excited for the episode today. Um, I could honestly probably spend the next five hours talking about the story that we're gonna talk about.

Courtney 0:48

Yeah, we had to pick a lane. Yeah, yeah.

Tessah 0:50

We definitely had to pick. There's a lot of lanes, there's a lot of directions. Um, and once you hear about what we're gonna talk about, you will definitely understand. Um, but I think we should do some table talk to open up the episode and just maybe what has been happening at your table this week that you're thankful for.

Courtney 1:11

You know, I am thankful for the rain. Ooh, yeah. Um It's been raining here. Yeah, it's definitely been raining here, and I might have drove home white knuckle in the steering wheel yesterday.

Tessah 1:24

Oh gosh, yeah, thankfully you're driving home. Yep, that's curious.

Courtney 1:27

Yep, uh drove home in it. Um but but I love to see how things get needy for God's touch. Yeah. And when even if it's just you get so desperate and we get a monsoon and flash flooding like we got yesterday. Yeah. Um, and the sun is out today, and it's cool. And I every time I've walked outside I've heard a bird shirt. And the even the birds are happy.

Tessah 1:55

Isn't that good? Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I um also think before the rain we needed that bad. Um, I we just finished our last life group with our college kids for the year. So it was last year. Another one in the books. Yes, so one more year down. Um, but it's honestly such a blessing to just get to I feel like these kids minister, like I call them kids, they're like literally 20 year olds. But um, I feel like their kids, like our kids. They feel like we No, I totally understand. We're like raising them kind of. Yeah. Um, but it feels like I'm also like this proud parent that's like, oh my gosh, I'm so proud of them. Like, but they also minister so much to us. Like, wow, like the way they show up and just serve, like whether it's at um the house that we do it at, or if it's or if it's like just seeing them at church serving. I'm like a proud parent of like, oh my gosh, I'm so proud of them. And I tell Kelsey, me and Kelsey uh talk about all the time uh how we are going to literally like ball our eyes out when like our OGs leave, like the kids that have been with us since we've been doing it, we're like, we're going to literally not be okay. Like we will be at their weddings and at their baby showers and probably crying while we're there. We're gonna be the weird people crying in the corner of the like are y'all related to them? No, I'm I'm just so proud.

Courtney 3:09

I think it's a testament to community. Oh, for sure, and why little things matter. Mm-hmm.

Tessah 3:15

Yeah, yeah. I I honestly we were both me and Kelsey, so the other couple that does leads a life group with us. Um, we were both pregnant when we committed to it, and we were like, Man, these kids are gonna see us both pregnant, and they're gonna be like, Yeah, we out, these people about to have kids, and like they just have loved our kids and like love the chaos that is our lives every week. And so it's just been such a blessing to get to minister to them, but like also just be ministered to by them. Like they just teach us so much.

Courtney 3:45

Well, and I think that as I've gotten older, um holding space for to learn from people younger than me. For sure. Like I don't know everything. Right. Yeah. I don't, and I'm never going to. And as long as I keep that open, that window open, um, I get to experience more of the world and it gives me an insight, you know, like as Mary gets older, what are some things that he feels like it gives me tools in the toolbox.

Tessah 4:16

Yeah, it's so good. Anyways, in my table, I've been loving my table this week

Why John 4 Matters Here

Tessah 4:22

for sure. Um so today we're not talking about tables exactly, but we're gonna be talking about a well. Yeah. Didn't change and the thirst. And and thirsting, yeah. Some uh living water. Um, we're actually gonna be in John to 4, and some of you ladies who maybe love the New Testament more than the Old Testament are going, praise the Lord. I did not know some of these people they were talking about. I'm so tired of head cards. I thought it was a but man, is the Old Testament not so good though? Like when you start studying, it is so full. So if you have not studied the Old Testament, this is your sign to do that. Um, but this week we're gonna be in John 4. We are skipping um to the Samaritan woman, and when we were talking about like we could not, it was really hard for me to pick a lane to go down to the story. Real excited. I was I honestly could do like a you could do a Bible study on that.

Courtney 5:14

Yeah, it's so good. I was like, man, that's really good. We could do that from that perspective, but let's look at yeah, how does this fit into the the the good girl complex in the series? Yeah, how does it fit in for you?

Tessah 5:25

Gosh, I feel like um reading her story, like uh and honestly rereading it, like and that's like the power of scripture is learning so much from rereading it. It's live and active. Oh, so live and active, like in different seasons of my life, and as I've matured in my faith, I have seen it in so many different perspectives, but also like learning contextually about who she was, maybe what she was experiencing. Um, it has just helped me understand her a little bit more, um, but also understand so much more about God and Jesus and his character and um why he maybe showed up at a well. Um, and it's actually it's so cool, anyways. I'm gonna try my best. Courtney's gonna have to keep me on track because I will start nerding out about different contextual things about this passage. There's it's meaty for sure.

Courtney 6:13

It is so meaty. I think that for me it's like where can we see pieces of ourselves in her? Yeah, and I think the challenge is it's gonna meet you where you are, yeah, because at some at some level we're all the woman at the well. Yeah. And you know, it you may not recognize it. Um when I and we talked about this before we started, when I have read um

The Outcast Context In Samaria

Courtney 6:40

this passage lots of other times, it has always been, you know, heavy on me about what is fulfilling me? Am I allowing God to fulfill me? Have I has my focus been on relationships? Has you know, my focus been on um, you know, before I was married, who getting having a husband, being married, and you know, fantasizing and romanticizing about what marriage would look like. And that becomes the focus. But this time when I was reading through it, the thing that really pressed heavy on me um is from a good girl perspective. I think we are quick to jump to, hey, I think that you know, in this culture she, you know, was identified as having some questionable choices, um, several marriages, um, uh several divorces, living with um her boyfriend at the time who was not her husband. Um we can focus on those things, but the thing that that resonated with me is what if she just all right, you say that's who I am, that's who I'm gonna be.

Tessah 7:40

Yeah, just started living out the identity that she that other people gave her.

Courtney 7:45

Yeah.

Tessah 7:46

Yeah.

Courtney 7:46

Because she was either misunderstood or um culturally in the time, maybe she was super mistreated. Yeah, um and maybe even abandoned by uh one or two of her husbands.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Yeah.

Courtney 8:00

Um, I think that it's easy for us to say, oh, maybe she was promiscuous. Right. Or maybe she was the problem. Absolutely. Or maybe she wasn't. We don't know. Right. Yeah. You know, and I think that the thing that that really resonated with me and actually wrote down um she abandons herself. Um, she leans into the well, well, here I am. I might as well be who they say I am. Yeah. And I think that if we think about that in the context of our own lives, have you ever, and like this is like a rhetorical question, you know, like for our listeners, and if you want to answer, you can, but like, have you ever just well, this is who you say I am, and might as well be.

Tessah 8:38

Yeah. I think that even I'll I'll kind of answer in a way that like I feel like I can apply like how she probably maybe felt, but like I feel like in looking at the Good Girl Complex series, like we talked about this kind of early on in the series, but like, okay, well, you say that I need to be this good Christian girl that follows all the rules and does X, Y, and Z and looks like this, even though I'm struggling with sin, or even though I'm doing this, so I feel like I can't be myself or be vulnerable with what I struggle with because I'm supposed to look a certain way or act a certain way, or like, oh, Tessa can't struggle with that because she's supposed to be this leader in a ministry, or doing this or doing that. And I found that like where Jesus meets us is right in the middle of our mess and in the middle of our sin, and instead of shaming us and even accusing us, he calls us out of it, and that's what we see so much in the story. Um, and I wanted to frame it a little bit because when you talk about the Samaritan woman and the woman at the well in John 4, we don't even know her name. Right, we don't know her name. Isn't that crazy?

Courtney 9:42

This is like who he announces his messiahship to, yeah, and we don't even know her name, but she matters that much.

Tessah 9:48

Yeah, isn't that cool? Um, and I think we also have to ask, okay, well, why is it such a big deal that Jesus is talking to this woman? Because there are some weird things that are happening culturally that would have been odd. Like wouldn't have been weird today. No, it wouldn't have been weird today to see like Jesus maybe a well wouldn't be a good example because there's not a lot of wells like just outsonic. Right, maybe they're at the Sonic hanging out, or they're at, you know, forkings, I don't know. Um, and you'd be like, oh well, that's cool, like whatever. Um, but I think, well, from what we know, is Samaritans and Jews had a bunch of uh disagreements, they had a bunch of rivalry, they had a bunch of even racism between each other. Like the Jews did not like the Samarians for a variety of different reasons that I will not dive too deeply in today. Um, but it was also would be weird that like obviously Jesus was considered like a Jewish rabbi. Um, and it would have been really weird for rabbis to be even be speaking to a woman in public.

Courtney 10:48

Well, and and and I think like it's important for us to to think about he is traveling in this story, yeah, and he intentionally says, I have to go through Samaria. Yeah, where most people would usually they went around it because that was like the capital of the northern kingdom whenever the tribes of Israel split. Yep. Um, and so a Jew would view all of Samaria and people like that as like hallmark sinners, like the biggest sinners of the sinners.

Tessah 11:20

Yeah, yeah, like generational sinners, yes, yeah, like and generational separation, yes, dirty even more despised than the Gentiles. Yep, yep. So this would like I feel like putting this into context would be like, okay, think of the one person that like if like obviously in Jesus' time, this would be the one person at the bottom of the bottom of the bottom that a Jewish person would probably categorize. Yes, and so it's it's honestly so like the character of God to find the most controversial person that he could reveal this to, but also like he does this in such a way that's like okay, yeah, you have this cultural kind of counter-cultural experience, but you also have this such personal experience, like Jesus can it's so cool how God can do all these different things in one story. Um and he's basically just stepping also into a space where most people would again like have avoided it. Like we I I think about like different places that I would avoid, like, okay, well, if I feel uncomfortable in the situation, I would probably avoid it.

Courtney 12:28

Or even if it's it's our default, right? Exactly.

Tessah 12:31

Yes, yeah. And so it's just cool how God's just cool.

Courtney 12:35

Well, and it didn't and walked right to it.

Tessah 12:38

Yeah.

Courtney 12:39

Alone intentionally because he sends the disciples to get things, yeah, and he knows exactly who is gonna be at that well when he gets there. Yeah. Um, and he meets her with a human need.

Living Water And Being Known

Courtney 12:52

Hey, I'm thirsty. Yeah, can I have a drink? And that's how he engages her. He doesn't hit her, you know, with, hey girl, I heard that you've been doing some things that this Jewish culture you need to be doing. Right. I hear you've been sinning.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Yeah.

Courtney 13:09

He meets her with I have a need. Mm-hmm. He does, can you can I have a drink?

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Yeah.

Courtney 13:15

And I I don't think it scripture ever tells, I don't know that you ever got a drink. Yeah. Maybe not. And like, and well, and she kind of goes back at him a little bit. Like she obviously doesn't recognize who he is. Right. Um, and she says to him, How are you gonna draw your water?

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Right.

Courtney 13:30

Why are you talking to me? Why is a Jewish man talking to me?

Tessah 13:35

Do you feel like this was like in therapist Courtney world? Is this like defense mechanism, you think?

Courtney 13:40

A little bit, or is that Oh yeah, she's totally on guard.

Tessah 13:43

Yeah.

Courtney 13:44

Yeah, like I think that she could even be anticipating, wow, this is fixing to get really bad if he's even like are they gonna jump out and stone me? Like I it obviously it doesn't say that in the text, but yeah, that's the kind of apprehension I imagine that she would feel like a life or death.

Tessah 14:05

Right. And she's probably not used to even people really talking to her or looking at her. Right, yeah. And so she's super, super isolated. And we even see this again, like in the scripture, that uh she's going to like the well midday, like the hottest part of the day, um, where most of the women in that time would went would have gone in the morning.

Courtney 14:24

It was honestly like a societal thing, like she was canceled, like she was wholeheartedly canceled by the women in this community. Yep. Um, nobody in their right mind would have chosen in the middle of the territory in the country to go and draw water at the well.

Tessah 14:44

Yep, so um, yeah, she was definitely an outcast for sure. Um, unseen, probably carrying a lot of shame, which I think kind of attaches to that girl complex of even if at one point, and you mentioned this, Courtney, before we started talking, but like she probably at some point we don't know her whole story. So like we don't know at some point maybe she was trying to, you know, be someone that was of good standard or be a good wife. I don't think she got the chance to even try to be a good girl.

Courtney 15:15

I think that I don't know, I don't I don't think that most people enter into marriage and or make a commitment to someone and a covenant, you know, especially like we, I don't think sometimes like our culture doesn't take marriage as seriously as this culture did.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Yeah.

Courtney 15:31

Um nobody wakes up and is like I'm burning it to the ground today. I don't care if I'm married anymore.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Right, yeah.

Courtney 15:37

Um, especially a woman who had no value in that culture, right? Um, and would have been more seen as property, she would have wanted to be married because then she would have been taken care of or had the opportunity to be taken care of. Yeah, yeah.

Tessah 15:53

I was gonna add to, I know I'd this is one of those things where I was like, I'm not gonna go too like dive too deep in it, but we could probably definitely do another podcast episode about it. But I will give a very much cliff notes of it. But basically, in the time, like cont contextually, the time that like Jesus was obviously interacting with this woman, there were a bunch of different um ideologies. I'll just say that, um, where basically in summary, a man could basically divorce his wife if she burnt the bread. So like there was a lot of disposable rule for disposable. Yes, and it was like the interpretation of Deuteronomy, I think 24. Um, I think. Um, I'm probably gonna butcher that, but it's like basically a passage in Deuteronomy talking about divorce, basically. Um, and I I think we should definitely do an episode on that and just like dive deeper into like what that like divorce and like what that looked like in this time. But we again like we don't actually know why she was had five husbands. We don't know if it was her, was she an adulteress or was she someone that was just burning the bread? Like we don't actually know a lot of her story. What's really cool about Jesus it doesn't matter why. Right, exactly. Yeah, it doesn't matter why. And I think what's cool though is that Jesus sees her and knows all of her story and still meets her. Um, and instead of shaming her, um, he instead calls her out.

Courtney 17:14

Well, and like he literally says, if you knew the gift of God and who it is who says this to you, give me a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water. And that would have the reference to living water would have piqued her interest and had her attention. Yeah, you know. Um, and then she says to him, This is when she says, You ain't got nothing to draw the well with, you know. Um, and then she takes it further and she's like, Are you greater than our father Jacob who gave us this well and drank from it himself as the sons of his livestock? Well, just challenging him.

Tessah 17:49

Are you greater than our father Jacob?

Courtney 17:50

He's like, Really?

Tessah 17:51

Do you know I know about Jacob? You think about Jacob's story, even it's it's honestly so funny that she says that. It's like, of course he is.

Courtney 17:58

And then Jesus says, Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. And that's this is where he's hooking. Yeah, he's he he's really hooking her at this point. But the water that I shall give him will become a fountain, a waterful spring, and everlasting life. And then she says, That would be, I mean, it'd be great, give me this water. I don't want to ever have to come at noon and draw water from the well again. This is a thorn in my side. Yeah, uh, I feel shame every time I walk to this well carrying this water bucket. Yeah, and so she says, Sir, can I have this? Um, I don't want to have to come here. And this is this is the coolest thing because this is where Jesus, we see like modern day Holy Spirit, like this is where he starts stirring her heart. And he says, Well, go call your husband. And he's not saying that in a mean or a hateful way. Yeah, he is saying that in a way that says, I'm I'm I'm knocking on the door. Yeah, call your husband. Because culturally, he was already really pushing a line and a boundary, even speaking to her. Yeah, um, and so for him to be able to give her everlasting water, everlasting life, he would have needed her husband to also be present out of respect.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Yeah.

Courtney 19:16

Um, and the woman said, I have no husband.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

Yeah.

Courtney 19:20

And Jesus says, You have said well, the I have no husband, for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you have now is not your husband, and that you spoke truly. So he he says, Hey, you're right, I know you and I see you. And she recognizes oh, he's a prophet.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

Right.

Courtney 19:38

That's when she this is more than he knows me. Right, he sees me. Yeah, um, and then she says to him, Sir, I perceived you're a prophet. And so then because she takes it, I'm not gonna talk about my husband.

Worship In Spirit And Truth

Courtney 19:52

Um where am I supposed to worship?

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Yeah.

Courtney 19:55

Because I see that you're religious.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Yep.

Courtney 19:57

And so she's gonna try to stir the conversation to something that feels less shameful and more comfortable. And then he says to her, Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when you will neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem worship the Father. You worship what you do not know. We know what we worship for salvation is of the Jews. But the hour is coming, and now is when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. And that's important in spirit and in truth, because he's letting her know it's okay to be who you are. I know your truth, I see your truth in spirit and in truth.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Yeah.

Courtney 20:33

For the Father is seeking those to worship him, God is spirit, and those who worship him, and then he says it again, must worship in spirit and truth. Um, and she says, I know the Messiah is coming. Yeah, I know he's coming. So, like sh he's walking her exactly where he needs her to be. Right. And he's done it gingerly, and he's done it with kindness, and he's done it with care. And the Holy Spirit stirs us that way.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Yeah.

Courtney 20:58

Like, hey, I know I know. And I still want you. Yeah, I still care for you. Yeah, I still love you. Um, and then Jesus says, I who speak to you am He.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

Yeah.

Courtney 21:11

And that's the mic draw moment.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Yeah.

Courtney 21:13

So we have this woman who has a reputation in town, she's been outcast so much to the point where she goes to the well at the hardest, worst time of the day. He intentionally seeks her out, and he announces his messiahship to her.

Tessah 21:32

Yeah. And it's the first time he ever has, yeah, like you said, it's the first time he's said and confirmed that he is the Messiah.

Courtney 21:40

Yeah, right here. It happens to a Samaritan woman.

Tessah 21:43

Yep.

Courtney 21:44

Not a Jewish woman. The lowest of the level. Not a Joe not her, not another rabbi, not a man.

Tessah 21:50

And also not in a large public setting. You know, he's not on this big stage somewhere. He's sitting across from his daughter.

Courtney 21:57

Yeah, this is not the the the Sermon on the Mount. This Is yeah, hey, I see you and I know and it's okay because I'm gonna change things. Yeah, I'm here to change things. Um so much to the point that she leaves her water bucket and runs to town telling everyone I've met a man who told me everything that I've ever done, and she announces that he's the Messiah. And becomes the first evangelist. Absolutely, and leads people to Jesus. Yeah, isn't that cool? Like her testimony leads people, but she went from being outcast and canceled to the first evangelist.

unknown 22:34

Yeah.

Tessah 22:35

Yeah. And that's so like on point with God's character of how he transforms us to like in our stories.

Courtney 22:42

And she in this, you know, just kind of thinking about, you know, that she she resigned from trying to be the air quote good girl.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Yeah.

Courtney 22:51

Her resignation was done with it.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Yeah.

Courtney 22:53

And he stirs in her she doesn't need or care because she goes announcing to everyone. Everybody already knows, but now she's saying it out loud, you know. And so I she the shame falls because she walks away from the well a very different person than the one that went to gather the water to begin with.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Yeah.

Courtney 23:12

Because she encountered him. And I think that the piece of this that we we have to hang on to and we can't lose there is nothing that you or I or anyone that is listening has ever done or been accused of doing or thought about doing that can separate us from his love.

Tessah 23:31

Yeah, that's yeah, amen to that. That's so good. And I I I that is just also what a great truth that we can cling to to know that the worst of us, not only did Jesus die for it, right, but he loved us so much to keep us to call us out of it, you know. He's he's not a God that wants to um and I feel like this has been just a statement that I've carried so much in my life, and also just like talking to other people is like Jesus loves us so much to die for our sins, and he loves us so much that he doesn't want us to stay there. Like he doesn't say all this and proclaim his his messiahship to her and call her out and you know do all these different things just for her to stay where she's at. Like he calls her and calls her out, calls her to go and tell, but also calls her to go and live a different life.

Courtney 24:25

Well, and when he says spirit and truth, it is we're not hiding anymore. You have freedom to worship. Because remember, right before that, she's talking about how well we worship on this mountain, and the Jews say it's not enough. Right. And and he and Jesus is coming to to to get rid of and annihilate these religious expectations, yeah, and to just obliterate them. Yeah, and it's Jesus and Christ alone. Yeah, and we see the first day of that here, um, and we see her wholehearted acceptance to that, yeah, and then how he uses it. Her she is no longer leaning into the identity assigned to her by her peers, right? She is no longer resigning herself in a giving up I am just gonna be who you say I am, state. Um she's not fighting because he's done he's it's already handled, he's done

Identity Shift And Shame Breaks

Courtney 25:31

it.

Tessah 25:31

Isn't that the power though, too, of like even looking at it through the lens of this series that we're doing and the gurgle complex is how powerful it is that we don't have our identity in anything else but Christ. Like our identity has to be fully and completely placed in who Jesus is and the work that he has done and the work that he wants to do through us, because if we don't, we are gonna fall into sin, we're gonna fall into and stumble in our worth, we're gonna question our value, and like when we actually cling to who Jesus is and who he says that we are to him as his daughters, we can actually walk in confidence and freedom of claiming that we it's okay that we're not good enough because he is.

Courtney 26:19

Well, and I and you know, like from the good girl perspective, she's waiting to be loved and accepted. You know, that whole him just as I am.

Tessah 26:27

Yes, yes.

Courtney 26:28

Like I was when I was reading through this this morning, and that just kept like rolling through my head.

Tessah 26:32

Yeah.

Courtney 26:33

And I was like, Well, isn't that fitting?

Tessah 26:34

You know? Yeah. He met her in the lowest point of her life.

Courtney 26:38

Yeah.

Tessah 26:39

And the deepest, darkest part probably of her life, where she's been through five husbands, she's isolated, she's uh everything about probably who she is was so dark, you know, just walking in this darkness, walking almost with this uh And no promise of a future. No, yeah, no promise that anything is gonna get better, you know, and like how cool that you know Jesus meets her right in the mid like at the lowest of her low, and like what you mentioned, like just as she is, and calls her to be something like to call really calls her back to just be a daughter of who he is, like be a daughter of God. Kick the label, man. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter what you've done, it matters what I'm going to do for you. Yeah, yeah, isn't that so good? It is. I love that. I had a few questions because I wanted

Hiding Your Story And Vulnerability

Tessah 27:27

to hit on some of these. Yeah, let's do it. Um because I feel like they're again, like there's so many layers to the story. I'm like, I could just sit here all day. Um let me see which one I want to hit on because there's so many. Um have you ever felt like you've had to hide parts of your story to be accepted, like the Samaritan woman going to the well alone, and what did that look like for you? Um essence generally to both of us.

Courtney 27:55

Um, yeah, I do feel like I've had to hide parts of my story. A, because I think that um Christians can be judgmental too. Because we still operate from the flesh.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Yeah.

Courtney 28:10

Um, and so even if I'm surrounded with I still sin. Right. I still have moments of flesh.

Tessah 28:16

So things you're God's transformed.

Courtney 28:18

You're we're still being sanctified. Right, yeah, we are you know, and so like I think that sometimes we grow up in this culture of like I shouldn't talk about I you know, hey, I was really sinning last week when I said a bunch of things that I probably shouldn't have said. Right. And there are people who could hear me say that, and I'm not listening to that podcast anymore. Yeah, and that's okay.

Tessah 28:42

Yeah, yeah. I think yeah, I totally can relate to that too.

Courtney 28:46

Yeah, and if you're listening to this and you heard me say that I said some things last week that God really convicted me about and you did too, yeah, you're in the right place.

Tessah 28:55

Right, yeah. I I I think there, and I have literally walked, and I'm sure you have too. It's like if even as followers of Jesus, one when we enter the room, and Courtney honestly does such a good job about this, she is like so good about just saying the quiet thing out loud, but also you just you're like not afraid to be vulnerable first. Like, and I think that that might be the therapist in you. Maybe I don't know, but maybe it's real. Maybe well, you know, I feel that, but I think like when we are in our community in our spaces, like when we are vulnerable about like, man, I'm I'm struggling with this, or like I'm there's a sin in my life I cannot shake, there's a relational problem I cannot get over, like I need prayer, I need community, I need wisdom. I need there's like so much power in that because I have seen it time and time again, these situations where people will stay isolated in their sins, stay isolated in this situation, and it is like a pressure cooker that explodes when it cause it's got it all anything in the dark comes out in the light. Right, like it just always it always does, right?

Courtney 30:02

And so it grows in the darkness, you're right, yes.

Tessah 30:04

And so, like, if there are so many situations I like just have watched where it's like, man, if you would have just been vulnerable one time or with the right person, or how many times have I been hurt by something and withheld it and sat with it and rolled it around in my courtenified brain.

Courtney 30:26

And then when I said it out loud, I'm like, you know what, that's kind of not really even true. Like I was totally buying in and putting stock into something that wasn't true. Yeah, I believed it to be true because I bought in that it would protect me. Yeah. And I think that I have to stop myself and say, hey, why are you relying on yourself? Yeah. What are you doing here? Let's practice what you preach, let's walk out what you teach other people. And you know, like what like as a therapist, like we say this like just because I have a skill set and I've been to school does not mean that it is easy to use those skills all the time.

Tessah 31:09

Sometimes it's hard to practice what you preach. Absolutely it is. I think even to go as far as sometimes the things that we are most gifted in in teaching and the skills that we have are also some of our hardest struggles to be able to do. Oh man, tripping on my face all the time. Yeah. And so I think like I can see so much of myself in the spiritual woman when I look at that, because how often do I want to, especially when I feel like I even have walked in seasons where I have struggled with a specific sin and felt like, man, I've got to cover up or put on this good girl complex or put on these, put on this show or performance in order to be accepted, or in order to perform or look a certain way in order for um other people to love me or accept me. And really, like what we're doing is just we're just building up walls between our relationship with us and God too. Like, I think sometimes we even think that we have to put on a certain performance in order for God to love us or and for God to accept us, and we see like if there's anything you get from this episode, it's like just look at the character of Jesus in this story. She she didn't, she wasn't performing. She was challenging, yeah.

Courtney 32:22

Yeah, but she didn't recognize who she was talking to, right?

Tessah 32:24

But she there's like Jesus knows everything about everything that she is, he knows everything about who we are and what we've done and what we've walked through and who we are. Um, and he still loves us and he still wants to be in a relationship with us and meet us and also sanctify us and make us more like his self. And um, I think there's just so much power in when we finally grasp that and like claim

You Cannot Clean Yourself Up

Tessah 32:48

it as truth for ourselves. Um there's just so much freedom that can be found.

Courtney 32:54

Well, and he's not gonna reject us, we reject him.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Yeah, yeah.

Courtney 32:57

Um I think that I'm gonna say that again. He's not gonna reject us. We're gonna reject him. Yeah, he sent Jesus, God sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. Yeah, because that's how much he didn't want to reject us.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Yeah.

Courtney 33:18

I have a son. Yeah, me too. And I just the thought or the idea of giving him up for people for even a good person, even the best person. Absolutely, you know. And God gave up his son. Yeah. Knowing that we were gonna reject him and hoping we didn't.

Tessah 33:40

Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Wanting us not to.

Courtney 33:44

Yeah. Eager to have relationships and to know us.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Yeah.

Courtney 33:48

Nothing about the Samaritan woman is cleaned up before Jesus meets her. And I think that we have to take away there is not a there is no space for a sense of control and how God meets you. If you were listening to this in your car and you were driving down the road and God is meeting you there, if you were at home or on a walk or a friend has sent this, you don't have to clean up first. That's his job.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

Yeah.

Courtney 34:19

He does that.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Yeah.

Courtney 34:21

We don't have to do that.

Tessah 34:22

Yeah. He handles it. Yeah. And that's so good. I I think back to the the scripture that uh Paul writes and it's uh, you know, basically we are like filthy rags. Like, you know, like we are like um not no there's no like not one of us are righteous, you know. No, no, no. Yeah, and so like I think so much back to that is like even if we like even if we wanted to try to clean ourselves up, we basically are like trying to clean ourselves up with muddy rags. Like, you know, like we're like we don't even have like you know, like our rags aren't even clean. Like, you know, like we don't even have the tools and the resources to make ourselves spiritually clean in a way that would be just holy to God, right? Like it has to be through Christ and Christ alone, and um, I think that also just eliminates like the work-based faith of like, oh well, you need to work for you need to earn it, you need to do steps one through three and da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Like, we can't, like, there is nothing righteous about the only thing good about me is Christ in me. Like, and that's just Amen. Point blank, period. Like, I try to like anytime anyone ever says anything, I'm like, nope, that's not me. That's not me, that's the Lord. Because like Tessa would probably be in jail, you know, like that. Like, I would have yeah, and so like I think we have to remember that too, is like the good, even the good things about us are God in us. And I would even go as far to say, like, even the good parts about anything are are God, like you know, like He is sovereign over those who know him and those who don't, which we are all image bearers. Some of us, like when when we you do accept Jesus, you are technically a better image bearer because you are hopefully taking on the qualities of Christ, but like we are all image bearers of the like the Imago Day. Like we have the image of God on like we are the image of God.

Put The Bucket Down And Reach Out

Tessah 36:16

Yeah.

Courtney 36:16

And and and if you're listening to this and um you feel that fish hook kind of like we've talked about before, um, and you feel the pull or you feel the conviction or you feel the pressing, like the hard press of I still need, you know, I'm gonna do I'm gonna cuss less and then, you know, I will be a better cleaned up version for God.

Tessah 36:40

Or I'm gonna go to church this Sunday.

Courtney 36:41

Yeah, or you should, but yeah, absolutely. Yeah. If you're ifing and then in your mind and having a um negotiation, um I'm gonna challenge you to set it at the feet of Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

Yeah.

Courtney 36:57

Put your bucket down.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

Yeah.

Courtney 36:59

It's time to put the bucket down and look up and remember who he is, or maybe discover for the first time who he is.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Yeah.

Courtney 37:08

Um, if a friend has sent this to you it's because they love you and they care about you, and they wanted you to hear this today. You just as you are. Broken, flawed, busted. God doesn't care. Put your bucket down. Yeah, surrender it. If you have a prayer request, reach out to us.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

Yeah.

Courtney 37:34

We'd love to pray over y'all.

Tessah 37:36

Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Or if you just have a question about the series, Jesus, the script, like John 4, the Samaritan Woman, I might bore you with all my biblical theology. Um, yeah. We're just gonna. I need a sharpie. Um, but feel free to reach out to us on Instagram, it's table of grace, and then our Facebook page is Table of Grace Podcast. Um, and I've just loved this series so much. I think we have one more. I think we have one more episode for this series, and then we'll be moving one or two. One or two. I don't know yet. We'll figure it out. One or two. We'll we'll figure that after. It may combo. We might, yeah.

Courtney 38:15

We're we we're you know, we're just letting the Lord lead.

Tessah 38:17

We are so spirit led. Yeah, we might you might have one more of these, you might have two more. We don't know yet exactly, but we are almost done with the series. Um, and if you haven't, if this is the first episode you're listening to, I challenge you to go back and listen to the rest of them um because they have just been so fun to record, but also I feel like I learned something so much. It's like almost like me and Courtney get to like hang out and do Bible study every week. It's so fun. Um we love you guys, and again, as we mentioned, if you enjoy this episode, send it to a friend and leave us a review. We'd love to hear about what you think about the series in the podcast, and we will see you next week.